Tag: Fertility

The Open Door

Published on by Ashley Blair SmithLeave a comment

On the Pull to Carry New Life

I find it interesting that every time I have conceived each of my babies, there has been this strong desire to become a mother again in the months and days leading up to conception. Not a physical, animal desire, rather a deep pulling at my spirit to carry life again.

Each time I have had my babies and walked through the early months and even years postpartum with them, I have focused that time on getting to know this new little soul that I brought forth into the world. I also take that sacred window of time to get to know the new version of myself that was born the same time that my baby was.

But in those first couple of years postpartum I never have that deep innate pulling to have another child.

Each time postpartum I have wondered if I will ever feel that desire again, the desire to have another child. While in my head I may know that I would like to have another baby, some day, my body and spirit say “wait”. So I listen.

When I was younger, I always thought that I would want to have my children closer together in age. Then, I had my first baby and everything I thought I knew about myself and what I wanted in life changed. Now, I’ve learned what works for me and my body. So I listen for that pulling in my spirit, telling me when it is time and when I feel open to conceiving another child.

For this third pregnancy, this quiet fire started burning in the early summer months of 2024.

Healing and Awakening Fertility

After birthing my second baby, I was thrown into some very traumatic situations in my life that caused me to rethink every inch of myself and those around me. This time around, it wasn’t simply the transformation that occurs when a woman births her baby and becomes a new version of herself. No, this was harsh, drastic, and felt so absolute.

For two years I dug my heels in deep and did the hard work I needed to make sense of all the broken pieces of my life and to find myself, truly, for the first time. While I walked through a living hell, I came out on the other side confident, bold, brave, and resilient. I liked who I had become.

Once I felt like I had healed significantly, I found myself wondering what it would be like to have another baby. Life finally felt a bit more predictable and comfortable again. I felt happy, my children seemed to be in a good place, my little family seemed to have found our weekly rhythm. For the first time in a long time, things felt sweet and safe. I asked myself if I was ready to conceive another child and “disrupt” this little dance we had all learned the steps to. I also asked myself if I was ready to “give up” my body in order to grow another life again. I knew I wanted another child, and I knew I was willing to sacrifice these things (a comfortable, predictable routine and a “fit” body), but was it the right time?

I sat with that for a bit. No one else was pushing me into having more children and I knew there was no reason to rush into anything. So, I gave it time. I began really savoring the routine moments at home with my children. I relished my time on my yoga mat, running in the summer heat and my body’s strength. I enjoyed each moment with my husband. All while allowing myself to remain open to the possibility of adding a new member to our little family.

By mid-summer I had started being more mindful of the foods I was consuming and researching how I could support my body and fertility. I made better choices, looked for herbs to aide in my fertility, and began doing a bit of deep releasing and surrendering. I pulled out my copy of Awakening Fertility — The Essential Art of Preparing for Pregnancy by Heng Ou and combed through the pages to glean wisdom.

I found myself a bit nervous for a change like this in my life, but I also felt ready to walk through the open door if it presented itself.

Conscious Conception

I believe that being fully transparent and honest with your spouse when it comes to how you feel about conceiving a child is so important. Discuss the things you are afraid of, the things you are excited for, and the things you are unsure of before taking the next steps.

I knew that I had arrived at that open door when I had discussed my fears, desires, and uncertainties with my husband, and he had done the same with me. I felt confident that we were both ready to receive the love of another child into our lives. I knew that I could place everything into God’s hands, and that if the timing was right, we could walk the path ahead with strength and confidence.

Everyone’s conception story is different. All are unique and there is no “right way” to go about it. I am grateful to have started this journey with our third baby mindfully, healthy, and surrounded by so much light and love.

Hormone Balance and Enhancing My Fertility Naturally

Published on by Ashley Blair SmithLeave a comment

Written: 2/13/2018

It wasn’t until mid-summer last year that I felt the first true signs of what people call “baby fever”. Up until that point, I hadn’t felt the desire to have children and I was content with just being married and sharing my life with Brendan. Of course, I wanted children one day, but we were both content to enjoy our lives together in our small downtown apartment. Every time we would see screaming, crying kids out in public we would both look at each other and say “We’re not ready for that”. But somewhere over the course of the summer I felt a shift in my body and my mindset.

I had already been reading books on modern maternity care and I had been following several bloggers who were first time mothers, and I found myself dreaming of what it would be like to be pregnant and carrying a babe of my own some day. Once the desire to become pregnant started to flourish, I decided it was time to take my health to the next level and focus on balancing my hormones and naturally boosting my fertility.

Doing the Research 

It was actually around the same time last summer that I dealt with a lot of strange and sudden bouts of anxiety, and hormone imbalance. There were days when I stressed about my body, weighing more than I wanted to, and having anxiety attacks over the foods I was eating. I also dealt with stress due to work and just generally being unhappy with what I was doing. I even had a hive-like rash at one point that covered my entire body for a whole week. I never determined whether the rash was caused by stress, consuming too much soy, or a combination of the two because I didn’t go to see a doctor. But, I had done some reading on how too much soy can affect estrogen levels in the body and cause hormone imbalances. Anyway, I was feeling low on energy, stressed out, and just unhappy. So I decided to put my focus on hormone balance, which was the first step towards boosting my fertility.

I read Woman Code by Alisa Vitti and it was so eye opening. This book teaches women how they can balance their hormones and enhance fertility naturally without having to take a pill that’s packed with synthetic hormones that just mask symptoms of PMS and create a sort of synthetic menstrual cycle. I have never taken birth control pills and I never will, but this book was about so much more than just simply coming off the pill.

In addition to learning about what foods we can eat during each phase of our moon cycle, or menstrual cycle, this book opened my eyes to how harmful chemical-based cleaning products can be on our bodies and how they can disrupt our endocrine system.

Purging My Home of Chemicals 

Since the beginning of 2017, I had already slowly been incorporating more natural, chemical-free cleaning products into our home. But reading this book just gave me the extra push to really get serious about it and get rid of every toxic cleaning product I owned.

I have now successfully switched over to using natural hand soaps in the kitchen and bathroom, natural dish washing liquid, natural dish washer detergent, natural soaps and shampoos, natural tooth paste, natural lotion, natural antibacterial cleaners, natural glass cleaner, natural toilet bowl cleaner, and natural laundry detergent and natural dryer sheets. The products (mostly Seventh Generation) use plant-based materials and essential oils as the cleaning ingredients and are not harmful to people like chemical-based products are.

Fertility Boosting Supplements and Herbs 

In addition to switching to all-natural cleaning products, I cut out soy where I could, and started taking adaptogens like Ashwaghanda, Tulsi, and Maca root powder regularly to help with stress, and I started drinking more fertility boosting herbal teas such as Red Raspberry leaf tea and Nettle tea. I also took Evening Primrose Oil, Vitamin E, and B12 in supplement form to help increase fertility. And by the time autumn rolled around, I was feeling much better, had fewer anxiety attacks, slept better at night, and had less painful periods.

I also downloaded and started using a free cycle syncing app called Flo on my phone to help me track each phase of my period and to mark down any symptoms I had. This allowed me to see patterns that my body went through during each phase of my cycle and helped me better understand what was going on with my body and how to naturally alleviate certain symptoms. And, of course, it allowed me to keep track of when I was ovulating and most fertile.

Timing – Listening to my Body and Trusting God 

With autumn on my doorstep, I was still looking for ways to enhance my fertility and reading up on modern maternity care in anticipation of whenever Brendan and I decided to try getting pregnant. But we still hadn’t talked about it a lot, and I was still feeling a bit unsure as to whether I was ready or not.

Come November I really felt a big shift in my mindset and my body – and all of a sudden all I could think about was getting pregnant and having a baby. I believe this is the sensation that some people refer to as “baby fever”. All of a sudden, my body felt ripe and ready to carry, and my heart had softened towards the idea of children. Brendan and I talked about it a little, and then we talked about it a lot. And we began praying that if we were really ready and the time was right, that God would open my womb and allow us to conceive.

Soon I started thinking of when I wanted to get pregnant and what month I wanted to have a baby. Did I want an autumn baby? Or did I want to wait a bit and have a spring baby? Or what about a lovely summer time babe? I quickly realized that it was silly to get caught up in the planning of when my future baby would come, because God’s timing is perfect and He knew the perfect time for my baby to come. So, after talking and praying about it, Brendan and I decided that we would start trying and we would leave it in God’s hands whether or not we conceived.

Since this was my first time trying to get pregnant, I had no idea whether or not I would get pregnant right away, or if it would take months of trying. But I listened to the signs and signals my body sent to me, and I had a positive feeling that after the first try I was indeed pregnant and that this was God’s perfect timing. And so it was.

I definitely believe that incorporating those fertility boosting supplements, teas, and adaptogens helped prepare my body for carrying a baby. I feel that getting rid of chemical based cleaning products that act as endocrine disrupters helped me too. Will I ever know for sure if these things truly helped boost my fertility? Probably not. But it sure didn’t seem to hurt my ability to get pregnant.